Things are getting better.
My painting is "done" for now. I am not completely satisfied with it, but I think some good things came out of it. I learn something after every painting, and with this painting I learned perseverance. From the beginning it was giving me heartache, and up until the last 24 hours I didn't like it at all. I still am not completely settled with it, but I need to let it rest and exist just how it is for awhile. I think I also realized with this project that art does not make me who I am. I am trying to keep from getting too personal with my work, only in the sense that I don't give myself a hard time if one painting doesn't come out as a masterpiece (which is going to happen more times than I actually create a masterpiece). It's all a process and in the grand scheme of things, every painting is working toward a better one. It's like the great painting that will never really be achieved because you're always working toward the next better one.
Something Matt said today in critique really resonated with me. He said something to the effect that, "your painting will always come after the painting before it, but will always be before your next painting." I can't remember exactly how he said it, but it really made sense and strengthened this idea that my life does not fit into a box called a painting. I will survive through each one. I am the creator but sometimes I have to stop and listen to what the painting wants. Late last night I finished up on this painting, finally bringing it to where it is today, and I was asking myself, "What does this painting NEED?" Not, "What do I want to do to this painting..." It was helpful. The book I am reading for Text and Textiles by Twyla Tharp has been good motivation for me. She has made me realize that every artist (or creative person for that matter) always has trouble starting whatever they are doing. She does this thing where she stamps her foot down on the ground and shouts, "Begin!" It just sets the tone for her starting point, and allows her to BEGIN. That is the hardest part sometimes. It was definitely an issue for me with this work. So last night, as I loathed the idea of painting, I forced myself to the studio, forced my brush into paint, told myself in my head, "Begin," and so I did.
I was very distraught one day after painting because I had squeezed all this paint (brand new) onto the palette and didn't touch any of it. I was whining to Nicole about it and she says to me, "Why don't you just throw some color on your canvas before you leave?" I said, "No I don't want to do that..." and then she says, "WELL, at least just smear it around so you can cut it up later."
It made me laugh so hard that it was uncontrollable. Other people probably don't think it's funny, it's probably one of those "you had to be there" moments, but I laugh when I remember it, so.....
My painting is "done" for now. I am not completely satisfied with it, but I think some good things came out of it. I learn something after every painting, and with this painting I learned perseverance. From the beginning it was giving me heartache, and up until the last 24 hours I didn't like it at all. I still am not completely settled with it, but I need to let it rest and exist just how it is for awhile. I think I also realized with this project that art does not make me who I am. I am trying to keep from getting too personal with my work, only in the sense that I don't give myself a hard time if one painting doesn't come out as a masterpiece (which is going to happen more times than I actually create a masterpiece). It's all a process and in the grand scheme of things, every painting is working toward a better one. It's like the great painting that will never really be achieved because you're always working toward the next better one.
Something Matt said today in critique really resonated with me. He said something to the effect that, "your painting will always come after the painting before it, but will always be before your next painting." I can't remember exactly how he said it, but it really made sense and strengthened this idea that my life does not fit into a box called a painting. I will survive through each one. I am the creator but sometimes I have to stop and listen to what the painting wants. Late last night I finished up on this painting, finally bringing it to where it is today, and I was asking myself, "What does this painting NEED?" Not, "What do I want to do to this painting..." It was helpful. The book I am reading for Text and Textiles by Twyla Tharp has been good motivation for me. She has made me realize that every artist (or creative person for that matter) always has trouble starting whatever they are doing. She does this thing where she stamps her foot down on the ground and shouts, "Begin!" It just sets the tone for her starting point, and allows her to BEGIN. That is the hardest part sometimes. It was definitely an issue for me with this work. So last night, as I loathed the idea of painting, I forced myself to the studio, forced my brush into paint, told myself in my head, "Begin," and so I did.
Other nuggets of art inspiration/things to think about....
Art is always creating problems for us to solve
We make art because we hunger for knowledge
Art is evidence of your state of being (BUT does not dictate who YOU are)
So you might be wondering why there is a picture of a palette on this post...
I was very distraught one day after painting because I had squeezed all this paint (brand new) onto the palette and didn't touch any of it. I was whining to Nicole about it and she says to me, "Why don't you just throw some color on your canvas before you leave?" I said, "No I don't want to do that..." and then she says, "WELL, at least just smear it around so you can cut it up later."
It made me laugh so hard that it was uncontrollable. Other people probably don't think it's funny, it's probably one of those "you had to be there" moments, but I laugh when I remember it, so.....
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