Seminar

Piece I'm working on for Seminar so far. My crit is coming up this next week....ahh!!!

Break Free

Painting from figure session today

Today was a breakthrough painting day for me. In figure I finally got over my mental block of trying to depict the human figure. It was actually fun to paint. It's just weird because last week I was almost in tears because I was so frustrated, and today it was bliss. Ok, maybe not bliss. I'm probably manic-depressive when it comes to painting; either its a really great day or its a really terrible day. The camera doesn't really do the color justice, it looks better in person. I looked at the very first painting I did for this class just 3 weeks ago and compared it to today's piece and it is seriously leaps and bounds of a difference.

This is the combined image project that I started yesterday. The colors look really weird in this but It's starting out kind of fun. It's weird because I don't plan the abstract forms that I have been making and then I'm trying to re-create some of them in this piece. Oh well, I know that it won't come out exactly like my originals. That would be impossible.

Eventually I want to get pictures of all the 20 paintings that I did the last 3 weeks and post them.

For the next project after this big combined one, we are supposed to be thinking of an artist that inspires us that we want to "copy" in a sense. I was thinking about choosing Maria Lassnig. We also have to choose something that isn't represented visually in it's original form and create that in our painting. This can be a piece of literature or music. I was thinking of taking something from the Hunger Games book because when I read it I always get such vivid images in my head that I think would be fun to explore in a painting.

Today I was briefly talking to Matt about grad schools and we were kind of just talking about this and that. He said something to the nature that we have to always be working through our art and going through the motions of creating. When something brilliant DOES happen, we will already be partaking in our normal activity. Then we were talking about how some artists feel like that they have to completely immerse themselves in their art and can't be involved in anything else. They can't be married or have kids or have a job that doesn't relate to art. Sometimes I feel a little bit like this is true for me. I mean I still have a life, I still work and hang out with friends but there are times where I feel like I'm trying to choose between art and something else. In high school it was always between art and swimming. I chose swimming over art during that time in my life but still my art was important to me. Right now though in my life, I feel pretty balanced, but I would like to dedicate more time to art.

It is what it is

Alright. Today Curtis Mann came to our seminar class and talked about his work and looked at some of our works and did little critiques. He is a 'famous' artist who exhibited in the 2010 Whitney Biennale. We went inside the gallery where the student show is going to be held and he critiqued my little 3 paintings that I got in the show. I wasn't really happy with the critique. I mean it's good to get a fresh opinion and stuff. He basically told me that my ideas don't come across in my paintings. I get that. It's kind of a new idea that I'm breaking out in and it's in just its fetal stages right now. He talked for what felt like an eternity about who gives a crap, and why should anyone want to look at it. Maybe I'm being a little hard on myself...maybe. BUT STILL. it wasn't too much fun. I just bit my lip and sucked it up because I figure if I want to go anywhere in the art world, there will be much more of this to come.

It just kind of put a sour note on the day. It was cool to have a well-known artist actually look and talk about my work, but it just made me feel really finite and like I have nothing and everything I have ever done amounts to zilch. I know that's not what it means, but in this moment, today, while it's still fresh in my nerves. This is what I feel. I have to find someway to connect my thoughts to my work and make it more obvious in a way what the work is about? I don't know. A lot is going through my head.

Then I got really bummed and just thought, why the heck am I putting myself through this. There are thousands of artists, probably millions, that have worked so hard for so long and have gotten nowhere. It's just like, well what's the point anyway? Why SHOULD anyone care about why I'm painting or what it's even about. Why should anyone even look at my work if it's only about me. AH. Just agitated. Thinking about all the many more critiques I will have and bridges I will have to cross before I finally come to...what? What's at the end, anyway?

Sometimes I don't feel big enough to be in the art world.

On a high...

Two of my works got into the student exhibition today! I'm super excited and surprised that two out of three made it. I am even more surprised that Nicole didn't get any of her works in. I definitely think hers should have been in over a bunch of stuff that I saw. Keep your chin up Nicole! There are plenty of more shows to get into :)


This is one of the paintings I worked on today. The camera doesn't really do it justice, it looked better in person. Anyway, just wanted to show the flow I'm going through...

Today was a really good day. I went to school and painted for three hours and got about 3 small paintings kind of finished. Then I went to Lowes and got some masonite and got it cut in 3 panels to paint on for some of my seminar pieces. Hopefully I can start on those by the end of the week. Then I came home and cleaned and cooked a delicious meal. I went shopping and then I went to Pilates, and now I'm sitting here on the couch drinking a glass of wine and updating my bloggy. I love days off of everything!

I have been getting back on an "art high." It's becoming fun to paint again and I enjoy going to the studio even when I don't have to be there just to paint the day away. I have been reading about some artists and playing in my sketchbook. It's good to be an artist!

Round and round it goes

I've been looking at some artists and found a couple that I really enjoy. I don't know much about them besides that I like their style. Jorge reminds me of Egon Schiele, a modern artist that is controversial but has some really interesting subject matter and style.

Hurvin Anderson

Jorge Queiroz

LOVE IT!

No school this week on Monday and Tuesday, but Nicole and I are going to paint tomorrow (monday). I am really loving this semester so far...My painting classes are awesome, Seminar is going smoother than I anticipated (It's only the third week, but trying to remain optimistic). I feel like I have more time for myself and more time to get back into art and what I enjoy. It's going to be a semester of fun painting, not painting assignments! 

Seminar

Alright, so in Seminar we didn't have time to get to everybody's proposals, myself included. After class I met with K and Angelika personally to get some feedback on my idea, and I think that they really liked it. I got really good responses from both of them and it made me really excited about my idea.

Basically over the next few weeks I will need to get started on a bunch of different works at once. I am going to get a 4' x 8' masonite panel and cut it in half to get to 4' x 4' sheets to work on as my "larger works." I have 7/20 small paintings for Matt's class, and continue to reinforce my abstraction ideas through these smaller works.

One thing they told me to do was to not get to analytical with this kind of stuff, they also don't want me to read to much on abstraction so my natural thought process isn't altered. Angelika also suggested that I record my thoughts as I'm creating work and try not to think consciously about my sub-conscious. This will be a pretty odd task..

They encouraged me to keep looking at artists that I like (for example: maria lassnig), and read their artist statements about their own work.

I'm can't wait to start working, I think this project will be really fun for me.

.....OH YEAH. And I submitted 3 works to the Student Exhibition and to Metaphor. Hope they get in! Woot Woot!

Robbers and Cowards...today is 1.11.11!

I lost my groove. Not painting over 3 weeks really screws you up.

I was talking to Matt yesterday and he told me a story about one of his professors that went home over a christmas break while all the other artists stayed and worked, and he still felt like he was behind because of it 30 something years later.

I hope I don't feel that way in 30 years. I was sick for two weeks and my grandfather passed away, I think that may be a legit excuse.

Nevertheless, I have a proposal due tomorrow for BFA Seminar. I'm a little mad at myself because I had such good momentum last semester and everything just stopped. I was exploring the self portrait idea and kind of want to experiment with that some more but on a different level. I'm really fascinated with how our minds work and how all ideas come out abstracted from original thought, and vice-versa. I want to expand on that idea. I think my semester proposal will be more like a series of questions than an actual plan of action. Abstraction to me is not just about funky shapes and strange design, it's about how things actually become abstracted and transform into something surreal through a natural process...such as writing a novel or painting a picture.

I'm working on 20 small paintings in Painting III right now, and I'm working to reinforce this abstracted though process idea. I know what I want to accomplish I just don't know how to get there. I like paintings that are complex and chaotic and I want them to somehow represent me. I want to get something concrete down on paper (canvas) about the realm of thought and idea. A thought is not something tangible yet when we have one we feel as if it's a real thing and something that is forever cemented into our brain. Only when we try to break the thoughts free from our head is when it transforms into something more...I'm just rambling, trying to get the words down. It probably doesn't make sense, but I need to explore.

There is an artist that I read about in ArtForum that I am really fascinated by. I like her style. Her name is Maria Lassnig and she is an Austrian artist who is in her 90's!!! Matt and I also talked about her and he said something to the nature of her working her whole life to get to where she is. I would totally agree, but she is still amazing. She likes to explore the body and I would like to incorporate the figure into my own work. The Self, body and mind are all connected. Thoughts are connected to a brain, which are connected to a body....yada yada yah.

Alright, got that out of my system.

 Now it's time to paint and work through this mess. Here is some Lassnig that I thoroughly enjoy...

"Photography over Painting"

"Self with Guinea Pig"
So amazing I can barely stand it...