Disconnected

I am unmotivated.

I am trying really hard to finish the semester with a bang. I always want to start over and do things fresh. I am always looking forward to the next semester and dreading the end of a current one. Matt pointed out to me the other day that I fizzle out towards the end of one, and I do. I don't know why. After a certain point I just don't care anymore.

I feel like I have no energy. No energy for anything anymore. It is showing in my (lack of) work. My mind cannot focus and I have been forcing myself to do the little work that I have done.

I am in the studio right now, trying to spit out some more collaged littles. I feel so indifferent to them now. I was so excited for what they had become, now they feel like a burden. Every time I sit down to work on another  I think, "this is where i start, this is where it ends...blah blah blah." I think my enthusiasm for them has lagged because I feel like I know what they will all look like in the end. I want to be working on something else but I don't know if that's something I need to tune out, or if I have actually exhausted my concept and materials.